Everyday, we overlook the little manifestations of our own prejudices that leave us oblivious to committing little, white transgressions or “micro-aggressions.” It may sound harmless when we say, “I think she is hot for a black girl…Oh, that’s so gay…Stop acting like a girl.” Or when you are a foreigner living and/or traveling abroad and you post a photo on social media of an emaciated child in rural Malawi with the tagline, “I’m saving the world.” Worse, when you snap a selfie in your decked out, tailor-made African-chitenje suit and hope that you elicit laughs, jokes and snarky responses. Take off your blinders, buddy — and acknowledge — what you just did and said is chauvinistic and pretty racist! Feeling guilty? Is your heart writhing inside, now?

All too often I see these micro-aggressions back home in my country of the red-white-and-blue: United States of America. One shining example is when people dress up in a hula skirt and coconut bra or any Hawaiian attire with fluorescent flower leis draped around their necks, and trance up to a college-like party with their so-called “Halloween costume.” Reality check, it is not a costume. In fact, it is part of a people’s identity and culture. Similarly, as with the “chitenje,” it is a traditional dress that African men and women wear with pride. But then, why do you choose to bastardize it? These expressions, however nonchalant and ordinary, are harmful and injurious to the people that you have chosen to poke fun of.

“Micro” doesn’t mean we minimize the gravity and nature of the aggression. It’s still a form of transgression, although not as blatant as, for example, “I don’t like Jewish people.”  Sadly, these micro-aggressions feed from our ignorance and sometimes, our failure to acknowledge the histories and prejudices of a people, race and culture. It highlights the ignorant undertones of our unconscious thought that needs to be put in check from time-to-time, and for some, all the time — I’m sure you know one or more of these people.

So why am I talking about this? My experiences this past year in Malawi and in southern Africa has made me more self-aware of who I am, as an outsider, and of the importance of understanding the historical and cultural contexts of my “privileged” existence in this four-dimensional space — the fourth being my conscience. I have witnessed the micro-aggressions committed by azungus living and transiting through here. I have witnessed the privileges that they capitalize and exploit. Yes, I am a muzungu living here and by default, my being from the USA, implies privilege — but do I have to behave in such a way that exploits and degrades other peoples’ identities?

I recognize that my words and actions have consequences, and if my personal biases are not meticulously re-examined, then the consequences can be dire. We are humans, and yes, we err.  Yeah, sounds cliché, but it is true. It is important that we continue to evaluate ourselves and the decisions we make in the context of the different spaces we inhabit. Therefore, I tell you, become more actively self-aware of your privileges and biases so that you don’t have to back-peddle from the so-called, “micro-aggression” offense. So when you are amongst your bros or chicks, think first before you burst out and say, “I think she is hot for a black girl…Oh, that’s so gay…Stop acting like a girl” — or anything crude of that nature.

I say to you, practice the 3 R’s: Re-examine. Rethink. Refrain.

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