One day, my 4 year old nephew asked my sister, ‘why did they call you Stella?’, she replied, ‘I guess because it’s a beautiful name, why did they call you Timothy?’ She asked him in return. In his response, Timothy said, ‘ I don’t know why, but I wish they gave me a different name; Ben 10’. ‘Why?’ Stella asked. With no hesitation Timothy replied, ‘because I like the name Ben 10 better’. I laughed.
Such innocence struck me and still does to this day. I look at my own life and see how complicated it keeps getting with time, how easy it is for me to sometimes lie and pretend, how easy it is for me to let life’s many issues blur my vision such that I just go with the flow of things…sometimes to the point where I don’t recognize myself anymore. But today when I remembered Timmy’s story, I did not laugh; I realized something more profound. In his innocence, Timmy asked why, why that name? I bet if he had asked me I would have been caught off-guard; I would have tried to explain what happened for me to be given my name or I would have just told him the story my parents told me about how my name came about. But you see, that’s where the problem is, Timmy did not ask how, or who or when or what, he asked, why?
The fellowship year may have not be going as most of us expected ; either it has exceeded our expectations or vice versa. There have been times I’ve felt like a failure, like someone who is simply filling in a position. But then there have been moments I’ve wished could last forever, moments I felt were meaningful and worth every effort doing what I was doing. But you see, that’s life; never predictable, today things are going on well and tomorrow it’s a different story all together. Today when I felt discouraged, I started asking myself, ‘what is it, what can I do, who is the culprit, when will things change, where is… ? But then it eventually struck me, it is not about who or when or how, because all these are not within my control; they are subject to change at any point without notice, they are not constant or consistent and so I cannot lean on them for support. I then remembered Timmy’s question, why?
Timothy had a reason why he wanted to be called Ben 10, do I? Why do I want to be called a healthcare worker, an advocate for health equity or social justice? Why do I do what I do? Why does this work matter to me? Why? In these questions lie the core purpose of my being here, of doing what I am doing. In answering the question why, I am reminded of my mission, my desire, my passion. Whether the how and the what changes, the why remains , whether today sucks or is fun, the reason why I am here still remains the same. It is this why, that will enable me go past my current situation and focus on the bigger picture, the purpose.
I come from a poor resourced background, like many of my friends who have chosen to rise above many obstacles so that they can make a difference. I look around and see how disparities in health care service provision are affecting my family, your family, our community and I ask myself, ‘what are we doing about it?’ But that’s the easy part; what is easy to see, it is tangible, but it can also be flaky because it is easy to change, stop or withdraw. In whatever it is we are doing or not doing, the important question we need to ask ourselves is why? Why these health disparities and why we even care?
I care because I believe everyone has a right to quality of life, I care because I believe everyone has a right to equal access to good healthcare and to a good life. I am a part of the global health movement because I believe we all have a part to play in fighting for health equity for all.
Therefore, if today gets tough, if you feel like giving up, or if you don’t seem to find a reason to keep on with what you are doing, remember to ask yourself why? Why am I in the global health movement, why am I in this organization, why am I in this country and why am I in this job? Once you have answered these questions, see if you still have no reason to keep on.
Today ask yourself why you chose to fight for health equity, lest you forget and get caught up in the hurdles of workplace politics, living conditions, inter-relationships and life in general. Ask yourself why this work, lest you forget the reason why you care about social justice.