Ellen, Lupiya, Sarah, Kimena, Ben, Mangesha. We all have names and usually we don’t have just one but 2 or 3 or 4 or more. Names give us a sense of identity. We associate them with who we are. We are given names or nicknames out of affection. This is why when a teacher with the organization I am a fellow at, Nyaka AIDS Foundation, gave me a name I felt honored and that I needed to live up to my name.
I have been given many names in my life. The one I was given at birth, Ellen, means light or sun. I was named after my aunt, grandmother and great grandmother. This is the name that I first came to know myself by. It is my first and primary identity. It is the way my parents helped me enter into the world and guided me into becoming the person that I am now. I aspire to be light to people. I want to bring joy, happiness and ah-ha! moments to people. I hope to bring sunshine and warmth to people.
When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in a rural village in Zambia the children jokingly named me Luatazho, trouble or problem. I enjoyed this name, partly because when the children called me it at first the adults would look shocked and didn’t know how to respond. And partly, because the adults eventually began calling me that name, but mostly because it meant that I WAS being troublesome. I was forcing people to think about their health and make changes. I caused good trouble in the community. In a way, it was a badge of honor.
In the first few weeks that I was at Nyaka AIDS Orphans Project, the oldest teacher decided take the role of giving me a name with great seriousness. A few days later when she approached me telling me she had the name for me, you could only imagine the anticipation that I felt. She decided on the name Kiconco, meaning a gift. She explained to me that it was a gift for the Nyaka organization to have someone coming to help and staying for a year. I explained to her that it was also a gift for me to be in Uganda and being selected to work with the amazing staff and community at Nyaka. It was a sign that she and the community were welcoming with open arms.
No one wants to go their whole lives being referred to as “person”. This is why we are giving names, as identifiers. The names given to me mean something. I think that this is the reason why when the children and adults first began calling me Lukatazho I got excited. I was accepted into their family. When the community at Nyaka began referring to me as Kiconco it was a sign that I was truly present in the community and important to them. As the name spreads from just one person to the whole community it is a reminder how many people my life can touch. The power of a name is also why I look up in expectation when someone says “Ellen”. It reminds me of home and my family and the kind of person that I would like to be. Names are important, they give us identity. People like to hear their name, its a proven scientific fact.
Ellen is something I hope to live up to. I hope I can be half as amazing as the women that I am named after. I hope that I spread positive light where ever I go. I hope that I can continue to be a Lukatazho (trouble) and challenge individuals to move past the norms. I want to be a Kiconco, gift, to Nyaka AIDS Orphans Project. I hope that when I leave the community they feel like I was a gift. I want to always remember what a gift my life has been and continue to be grateful for the opportunities that I have had. Each name that I have been given defines a piece of me. Ellen, Lukatazho and Kiconco are all something that I aspire to be.