In David Brooks’ recent New York Times column, he writes about selfless love: “That kind of love decenters the self. It reminds you that your true riches are in another. Most of all, this love electrifies. It puts you in a state of need and makes it delightful to serve what you love.”
When I first found out that I had been selected as a Global Health Corps (GHC) fellow, I thought about all of the amazing career opportunities that lay ahead. I am dedicated to building a career focused on helping people, and GHC felt like the chance I needed to get that big career break. During this past year in Zambia as a GHC fellow, however, I’ve realized that this experience has become less about my career, reaching my next step, and finding new experiences. My year has become more about finding and understanding true selfless love for another – specifically for my co-fellow—who, as Brooks describes, pushes me towards the good.
Angel, my co-fellow, is a 24 year-old Zambian woman who is brilliant beyond comparison. We work and live together, and surprise just about everyone by having such an intensely happy and close relationship despite all of the time we spend together. We talk about work, yes, and also manage to make each other laugh 95% of the time we’re together. We make up songs about our day, fall asleep watching movies together, talk through every emotion imaginable, and process all of the complicated things we see on a daily basis through our work on an evaluation of an abortion safety program.
Our work together didn’t start out seamlessly. We jumped in head first into a women’s health program evaluation, and we spent days in the clinics hitting road block after road block, knee-deep in content about as upsetting as it gets. We had some tensions over who did what, and a steep learning curve as we figured out how to work together as an inseparable team. Once we figured those out, we became (and still are) two parts of one brain, catching each other when the other stumbles. The love that I have for Angel and our friendship has made me want to be better at the work I do every day, and has, consequently, cemented my dedication to women’s health.
One of GHC’s principle beliefs is that health is a human right. This is something that I hold in the very core of my being, and a belief I hold in the center of my heart. When we go into clinics and hear the stories of women who have dealt with traumatic and substandard health care, I feel so deeply for them and want to do everything I can to change their circumstances.
Yet that belief in justice doesn’t have the same effect that love does. Brooks is right in saying that love electrifies: I no longer see strangers dealing with the lack of sufficient services, but I see Angel’s face on these women suffering. It’s easy to understand exactly about the services that I haven’t had, ways in which health systems have failed my needs as a woman. But Brooks talks about a love that makes it an honor to serve what and who you love—and that’s what I’ll take with me from this experience. I can’t help but think how Angel’s life would change if she were unable to receive the health treatment she needed, and if she weren’t able to reach her full potential (as the reigning queen of the world, which it is, mind you). When Angel hurts, I hurt. And if Angel is one woman, can you imagine the countless other potentials across the world that are being struck down and lost by having a health system that doesn’t support women and their choices?
I’ve spent many of my years as a public health professional and as a woman trying to exercise my rights to proper healthcare, and fighting against health systems and structures that don’t support women. In many ways, that has been stoking the fire in me to continue this work. But when I see Angel dealing with the same limits to getting full healthcare, I feel pushed to fight even harder with allies everywhere to increase access to health services for women. Sometimes I can doubt myself or be unsure of what I need, but I have zero doubts about Angel. She will change the world someday, and deserves every service that will support her on that journey. I will continue to fight alongside this woman who I have laughed with, cried with, cheered with, marched with, and journeyed with, to make sure that every woman has the right to complete and empowering health services. Over my GHC year and my friendship with Angel, my “career has turned into a calling” and that is one of the countless gifts Angel has given me over this past year.
Brooks is right. My love for Angel has re-inspired a love for the work that I do, and the women that our projects are aiming to help. GHC is no longer just a step towards a better career, but has brought me the kind of love that has inspired me to be better. As Brooks says, “This gift of love overcame, sometimes, the natural self-centeredness all of us feel.”