GIRLHOOD IN RWANDA
Health Poverty Action, is a British organization that has been operational in Rwanda since 1998 and started its programming with the now popular ”Urunana” soap opera. In addition to this Health Poverty Action has also been implementing other sexual and reproductive health focused projects.Health Poverty Action has recently expanded its programming focus to support youth sexual and reproductive health, water and sanitation, income generating projects and gender issues.
We held different discussions with girls of reproductive age and youths that are not in school, from the ages of 14-24. This was in order to know their perspective on girlhood, being a girl, the best and worst things about being a girl.
The girls came up with the following:
Girlhood: Girls are overwhelmingly felt that their lives are out of control and unpredictable. They want more control, decision making power and choice in the context of marriage, sexual relationships and health. The ability to exert control was impacted by parents, deception by men, inequality with boys, lack of knowledge and lack of self confidence.
Pregnancy: Girl’s girl goal is to have babies within marriage because having babies within marriage because having babies outside marriage causes them to loose value.They are less concerned with their biological age at first pregnancy. Despite a strong desire to have pregnancy within marriage, girls often struggle to achieve these due to peer pressure, desire for sexual relationships, pressure from parents and pressure to prove their fertility.
Money: Girls in Rwanda repeatedly say ”No money, no life” and wanted to be self sufficient in other words able to support themselves and their families. Most importantly they wanted money to come from sources which gave them value, rather than from sugar daddies ( these are men who take advantage of young girls, giving them money in exchange for sex) or prostitution. Money is associated with independence. Girls feel that lack of financial advice, lack of education and their own saving and spending behaviors impact their ability to be self-sufficient.
Income generation: Earning an income is viewed as essential to be self sufficient, because it decreases a girl’s potential to be deceived by men. A girl who is self-sufficient has value, is both respected and feared by men and has an impact on their ability to gain and keep value.
These are girls from ”work readiness”, they were trained on reproductive health, making income generating projects. We asked them different questions about girlhood, what they think is the worst and best things about being a girl in Rwanda and they answered the following:
The best things about being a girl:
- The fact that a girl is not regnant and is in school.
- To be able to advice other girls.
- To have a good relationship with parents and respect them.
- To respect yourself and not have sexual relationships before marriage.
- Being a girl with self esteem, respecting parents and able to follow their advice.
- Being respected by people.
The worst things about being a girl are:
- People still think that there are some things that a boy can do which a girl cannot do.
- People do not trust girls as they trust boys.
- When a girl makes a mistake like playing sex with a boy she is the one who faces the consequences like dropping out of school while the boy continues studying.
- That sugar daddies defile girls without taking into consideration that they are the future of the country.
- To get pregnant when you are not living with a husband.
- To be raped and rejected by others.
In general when someone is a girl, she is proud if she is in school, if she can work and earn a living to support herself and her family, if she does not get pregnant before getting married and if she later gets married and has a family of her own.
The government of Rwanda tried to stop sexual relationships between girls and sugar daddies, by putting ”sinigurisha” billboards. These means ”I am not for sale”, in order to raise awareness, reminding girls that they have the right to say no to sugar daddies. These billboards are ment to acknowledge to girls, that some of them are forced to transactional sexual relationships to finance their studies, to get gifts like cell phones, computers and fancy clothes. Rwanda’s girls should know that they can study hard, get good jobs and be able to buy all these for themselves, rather than having to face the consequences of having sexual relationships with sugar daddies like H.I.V infection. But in a society where teh subject remains a taboo, these campaigns are good, because it directly warns both young and old people against such behavior. Cross generational sex is having a negative effect on the health of youth and this affects their economic and social development.